Review: “The Last Exorcism”

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Take the best parts of “The Exorcist”, “The Blair Witch Project”, and a really shitty horror movie and slam them all together and you will have “The Last Exorcism.” I am not panning the film, just trying to communicate the idea.

This is a pseudo-documentary that jumps out periodically to give you a more clear view of what is going on. So you jump from a 1st person view through the eyes of the camera operator to a 3rd person omniscient POV. I wouldn’t call this a distracting way of filming, just like the director wasn’t committed to just doing the 1st person POV. (POV = Point of View)

You have the bloody cunt of a young girl, with no real reason as to why she has such a messy pussy. At least in “The Exorcist” William Peter Blatty gave us a reason why that young lady’s twat was bleeding, it was from jamming a crucifix into it of course. Yummy.

In this case, we just have a girl who is prego with what is believed to be (by her father) a demon. So we have a bloody teen cunt (unexplained), the teen is also prego (prego and bleeding isn’t good right?), and a father who the pastor who came to exorcise the demon baby from her thinks knocked her up. Confused?

Here is the premise… you have a pastor who really doesn’t believe in the whole God/Jesus thing anymore. He had been following in his father’s footsteps as an exorcist, a practice that he sees as being a glorified (literally) magic trick. He is doing an expose┬┤on what he sees as being a farce, demon possession and exorcism. He learned from his father who was a preacher before him… did I tell you this takes place up the road from me in Baton Rouge?

Anyway, so the preacher drives to the country (driest part of Louisiana I know of) and it looks like the opening scenes are shot in Kenner. In the country he finds a big old house where a man, son and daughter live. His wife had died from cancer two years previous to this ‘film’ being made. The plan the preacher has is to expose the trickery of the rights of exorcism and to make some cash on the side from the documentary and the cost of the exorcism (yes he is charging for it.)

My question is, who loaned the production company so many $50 bills to show as payment? I doubt much more was spent on the movie itself. Maybe they took the entire production budget and cashed it in so they could shoot that scene. The guy actually reminds me a lot of Thomas Jane, who was at one time a cock for hire and is now the lead in the series “Hung.”

So he does a fake exorcism, collects the cash, and proceeds to head to a hotel before heading home. Thing is, the girl is possessed and has been knocked up by a demon or at least via a satanic ritual. Who conducts such things in rural Louisiana, well the local pastor of course.

The ending is basically like that of “The Blair Witch” but you get a clear view of who kills the last one standing.

Rating: 6/10 – Worth watching and if you allow yourself to be jumpy you can enjoy it. Otherwise you wish it was rated R or X and made into something adults could really enjoy. If only we got to see more of the possessed girl grinding on the film producer chick, or finishing her undressing on camera. Maybe it would have gotten a 7/10.

 

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