I was in a snit this afternoon. This happens, particularly of late since I have been on the wagon for the past few months. Well, I should be clear. I am more often worse then far from the wagon, the road the wagon is on, generally anywhere that wagon could go.
But I digress.
When I was a kid, up to about age 35, I would spend Saturday mornings watching home improvement shows and car/truck project shows. You know the ones. If you don’t Google yourself:
- The Woodright Shop
- (the old ones with the sweaty guy in red/black flannel)
- Gardening by the Yard
- Paul James
- This Old House
- Bob Vila only please
- Wikipedia: Hometime
- with JoAnne Liebeler not the other holes
- Horsepower TV
- Chuck Hansen and Joe Elmore
That’s a start for you. On to my point.
In this decade we have somehow lost the shows that explain and educate the viewer. Instead we are shoved around with things being bolted on and fitting perfectly, working perfectly. The shows spend more time developing characters instead of walking their way through projects.
As if television could not be dumbed-down any further, they have found a way.
201x Home Improvement Shows: Nightmare, Zombies
Part of this disgust crossed the line with me today. I was eating a bagel, drinking my coffee and looking for something to watch. With the NFL season being done and college basketball about as entertaining anymore as watching flies fuck, there had to be something on. I roll across the word “Zombie” in my guide. It is followed by “House Flipping.” So there it was, “Zombie House Flipping.” Clearly meant to get your attention, at least mine, by enacting the monster du jour being Zombies.
What I find are really shit actors. Ok, so maybe they really are house flippers who can’t act. I was trying to reason with myself. This blows, but I am really trying. In this episode there is a safe found in the house. Really? The bungling men can’t get it open and result to typical stupid man things and try to use brute force to open it. The brilliant woman steps in and calls the safe manufacturer, gives them the serial number and gets the unlock code.
See what they are doing here? Yes. The prefect morning zoo format in a home improvement show. Three stupid men and one smart sassy woman and hilarity ensues. Please go fuck yourself in alphabetical order.
201x Car/Truck Shows: Canada
Tell me you have stumbled across those crazy Canadians on “Restoration Garage.” Let me get something clear, nothing against Canada but they have imposed some of the most lame comedians and other people on the world.
In this show there is a very intelligent and wealthy man who owns a massive car restoration business. He is the son of the man who founded the Grainger company. Anyone who has ever worked on a car or truck has been through the catalog at least once while dropping a deuce.
There is a crazy shop manager who has cameras installed all over to spy on his shop guys. A lot of contrived drama mixed with questionable restorations. I must specify this one in particular. A small POS Datsun. I am sorry people. You might be, no… you are a Canadian if you are restoring a Datsun. Who buys and old Datsun for any reason, let alone to drop a 10K plus to have it restored? Online? Without seeing it?
At some point we must eliminate this from our culture. Not Canadians, but this type of show. I feel I am part of the downward spiral. I watched OCC and Jesse James’ show. (Although I kind of enjoy the newer one.) But we went from big personalities to making people without them do things so they seem to be interesting.
I will say that the PowerNation shows are not too far down this road, no matter how hard I am sure the producers and execs are pushing it. Just look at what happened to This Old House. Yes, even PBS has sold their soul. Ultimately we watch to be entertained, all we can do is hope people stop being entertained by shit. Alas, we know that won’t happen (look at how long American Idol lasted.)